Does your current life situation reflect everything you hope for? On the spectrum of life satisfaction, where are you? Have you settled or are you actively choosing? Uncertain? Well, sometimes you just have to call a spade a spade, and if you can’t do it for yourself, maybe you need someone unrelated to do it for you. Does that seem harsh? Well, maybe.

Does this make it easier? I have engaged in many of these choices myself either because I didn’t know better or was reluctant to really look at my life. I don’t want you to waste any more time living a life that is only half of what it could be. If you are ready to really see your life, and assess where the proverbial x spot is, then read on and see if you are engaging in any of these life limiting choices.

7 Common Ways to keep your life in neutral

  1. Time fillers. Online games, television re-runs, entire weekends of sports watching. Whatever your activity of choice, be clear that if you are doing this on a regular basis, for hours at a time and have nothing to really say to “What’s new?” You are in an avoidance pattern.

  2. Your primary social connection is with your adult child or with your family. Have an adult child living at home? Do you have more conversations with them than with your partner? Or maybe you engage in hour(s) long phone conversations or in person conversations with your siblings or parents? There are relationships and there are crutches. Only you know for certain which they are.

  3. Technology is never turned off. It is with you in every area of your home, office and car. You can’t conceive of turning it off for fear of missing something, and routinely sit silently with someone, as you “connect” with someone else via your phone or other device.

  4. You are living in the past. If your tales of adventure all begin with “I remember when” and that time was when you were younger, unmarried or when your kids were a certain age, you have quit living your life in the present. Life is not static and choices are best made in the present for the present.

  5. You choose The Busy Badge of Honour over opportunities of self-reflection. Being busy, with no downtime is a way to deflect any chances to look at the direction your life is taking and to make choices. It is socially accepted but is productivity that masks underlying needs.

  6. You have chosen the victim role over the creator role. If your main theme is how you “have been done wrong”, you have given over any chance of making your life better. Take responsibility for your life and be willing to see your part in any interaction where the outcome was not what you wanted.

  7. You don’t look for the lesson. Everything has one, from how you respond to a casual remark to your indecision  about important life decisions. Acknowledge your feelings, name them and think about how they are markers for what is occurring in your life.

It may seem that life is either a series of random events out of control or fixed in a same old, same old pattern. If you want something different, do different.  Accept the challenge of seeing your behaviours and how they are keeping you from living and having the life you want. It is worth it, you just have to want it. Do you?

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