Being in transition is really about being in a state of decision-making. It is the process of trying to make sense of a series of choices appearing to make no sense at all and which we know are going to result in change. When we say yes to change, make decisions that affect the trajectory of our lives, we are accepting the unknown. Saying no to fear and yes to possibility. Fear tells us “no good will come of that, stay here.” Possibility says “I don’t know what the outcome will be, but I believe good things are possible.”
Sometimes we don’t realize when we are listening to one or the other. We can get a lot of advice from friends, family and even our own life experiences and goals.
Want to get married? You will undoubtedly get lots of encouragement to make that decision, because it is the “normal” course of events. Thinking about ending your marriage? You are likely to get lots of opinions about that as well.
Often people try to make important decisions by creating a list of pros and cons, outcomes and consequences, flow sheet thinking. Data in, data out. Sure fire direction, set to go. We want to avoid being wrong and the fact is, that what is wrong for one person isn’t wrong for another. Much of what we get from family, friends and even the community at large is based on their own abilities to grapple with fear and possibility.
If you talk to two people who almost drowned you may hear two different opinions about learning to swim. One of them might say, “don’t go in the water, it’s dangerous.” The other might say, “After that experience I wanted to learn how to swim, and I found I really loved it.”
Whispers of intuition are your magnetic north
Listening to other people is a way to gather information, even perspective, but it should not be the deciding factor. What is? You of course. What is the vision for your life? How do you want to feel, what things fill you with satisfaction? What kinds of people do you want around you, what dreams are within you waiting to be lived? No one can know that, except you.
How do you get from A to B, fear to possibility? Get quiet, get by yourself and get honest. Gut feelings, the whisper of intuition are your magnetic north. If you are feeling pulled in a direction, if the idea comes over and over again, that’s what you need to pay attention to.
It might be to pick up the paint brush, begin the music project, have the hard conversation, apply to school, don’t go to school, settle down or cut all your ties. No one can know what dream or opportunities are waiting for you to choose. Only you. Everyone has opinions, only you know where your magnetic north is. The question really becomes then, are your ears open to fear or to possibility?
When you say yes to fear, you are saying no to possibilities unknown
I have listened to both those whispers. Fear nearly crushed my artistic potential, possibility has expanded my world in ways my vision didn’t even include. Not only am I writing, but I am considering ways I can collaborate with others to enlarge the impact. I find myself meeting those who similarly want to create positive change. Through them I am becoming aware of projects and ideas that live beyond those who created them. By allowing my own magnetic north to pull me forward and put the whispers of fear to the side, decisions don’t carry the same weight. In fact the more I say yes to what could be, I see how much I have changed and I wouldn’t change that, for anything!
Feeling stuck? Need some guidance on how to move ahead? Contact me and I would be happy to help you identify the fear whispers so you can start creating that life you want.
As always, I would love to have you share your thoughts, ideas and stories.