If you pictured your life as a movie, would it be easier to see the patterns and decide exactly what you needed to do to get to the best, most satisfying resolution?
When we watch a movie, we expect conflict. In fact without it, the movie would be boring with no real point. It would just be a series of people doing everyday things and that’s not very interesting at all. Throw in some obstacles, some hurdles and that’s what keeps us engaged. We want to see what the main character will do and what happens as a result of their actions.
One of the great things about watching a movie is that we can be armchair experts. It is so obvious, sometimes, what the main character should do or what they are missing. We get the view from above, the god view, so to speak and while interested, we are not involved.
If you could do that with your life, in the present moment, what would you see? Could you see the short and the long-term, without getting caught in the no options box?
Relationships are often the biggest and most challenging of any life movie. Of the many lessons I have learned, most come from those closest to me. If we take a moment or two and allow for “ x marks the spot” we can see reasonably clearly what the problem is. Don’t engage in all the what if’s or worry forward, just take this place in your life right now. What is the situation you are in and what is it that you want?
Relationships as seen from above
Several friends have spoken of the challenges they are facing with their adult children. I am walking that path too. It would seem that there is a push and pull, and as we give them space to live the lives they wish to live, we learn to let go. More than what we would like and sometimes it feels unnecessarily cruel from the recipient’s side of things. Yet, it challenges us to find a deeper and wider existence which lays beyond our relationship with them.
If I engage in the negative mind-set of regret (looking back) and worry (looking forward) I would be extremely miserable. Instead, giving myself the look from above, I accept what is. I stay open to a future relationship without trying to force us to a place not yet ready for us to go. Nor, do I contort my life into what I think might be acceptable. I have control only of my actions and my emotions. In this moment of my life movie, I choose to live my life dreams and am ready to accept, with open arms, the time when our lives intersect again in a more consistent manner. I don’t know when that will be, or under what circumstances.
The main character’s supporting cast
Now, think about your life. What obstacles, problems or challenges are you facing? You are the main character and I am pretty certain there are challenges to overcome or dreams ready to follow. And, just like the movies, there is a supporting cast. People on whom you can rely, your tribe. They will arrive on the set, for varying lengths of time and often at the most opportune times. If you are living in the now, if you have the bird’s eye view, you are able to accept them and the support they bring.
The real gift in seeing your life as a movie is to look at the challenges as opportunities to learn and as part of a greater whole. We don’t have to be defined by our challenges, but we can be shaped by the lessons we choose to learn. In fact, each of those lessons will help us to meet and master the next thing that comes our way.
Tell me then, in your personal movie, what are you willing to do to create the best and most interesting version of your life? Perhaps you have a game changing, life altering moment when you chose you and transitioned from “is this it?, to “this is it!”? Feel free to leave a comment, it might just be what someone else needs to give them the courage to face their situation.