If you ask “why”, you might be surprised by what bubbles up from your subconscious, and the little messages that whisper in your ear.
One night, several years ago, when I first began blogging, I realized I was feeling…afraid. I sat with the feeling and then dared to ask myself why. What arose is what I call “angel whispers”. They told me “you’re more afraid of success than you are of failure and your real fear, under that, is you don’t think you deserve it.” Wow, that struck hard and it struck deep.
I call these thoughts from the subconscious angel whispers because they seem to come from nowhere. Yet the truth of them resonate through my whole being. That whisper of thought sent me searching for more information, to ask why anyone would be afraid of success and was it really about self-worth?
The value of asking “why”
Asking why, getting comfortable with that word, and using it often leads to other important questions and ultimately to greater self understanding.
“Why” is the word we use as youngsters to help us understand our world. It often gets shut down, whether it’s because of the frequency it’s asked, because the parent doesn’t wish to answer the question or because the timing is poor. From the child’s perspective it’s their best way of finding out about the world. If we don’t answer, brush them off or shut them down, we can teach our children to quit asking and become content not knowing.
As you know, I am an avid reader and for the last few years have sought out books on a variety of subjects. They include goal setting, entrepreneurship, personal development, self-improvement, creativity, spirituality and philosophy. It’s been wonderful expanding my knowledge and pushing the boundaries of life.
What’s also clear is that this knowledge, while tremendously useful can only be taken to the next stage of life development by applying it. Taking in all this information, without acting on it, is like buying priceless works of art and then putting them in the basement for no one to see.
That subconscious angel whisper was telling me it was time to act. Time to make good on the dreams and desires I have inside me.
Fear of success, self doubt – I’ve learned they can come around more than once. In fact, every time you put yourself out there, make the effort, try something new, you’re likely to feel one or the other or both. Those fears struck deep.
We don’t always, or often, understand the belief systems that move us to self sabotage. I’m blessed with many friends who have forged ahead in careers and lives, challenged to bring the best of themselves forward. Frankly, I’m often impressed with all they have accomplished.
Self-worth and self-esteem
My interest in what propels some forward and others to sit on the sidelines is an area I continue to seek answers. Certainly some of it’s personality, but not all of it. One of the questions from last night’s light bulb moment, was to find the difference between self-worth and self-esteem. Dr. Christina Hibbert (http://www.drchristinahibbert.com/self-esteem-vs-self-worth/) describes the differences in this way, “ Self-esteem is what we think and feel and believe about ourselves. Self-worth is recognizing “I am greater than all of those things”.
Over the years I’ve come to recognize my self worth and my self esteem has grown exponentially because I’ve been wiling to follow my dreams. I also realized that as an adult and both parents gone, it’s my job to parent myself. Time to let go of old messages and nurture messages of acceptance, worth and value.
It’s a slow process and one I continue to develop. Books are the tools I use to continue learn. Action the method to cement the learning.
The subconscious shines a light on the path
The great gift about the subconscious “angel whispers” are they allow us to look below and give us glimpses of what else is going on . We may not see much, but we can see there’s more of a path than we thought. In fact, they give us our next stepping-stones to creating the lives, relationships and careers we want. The best way to invite those whispers is to ask our childhood’s favourite question – “why”.
For those of us in the northern climes winter is upon us. The longer evenings and colder weather are invitations to read more, reflect and begin the long steady climb to fully create our whole selves. For your reading pleasure, you may find the following books worthy of your attention. Each are on my bookshelves, the first two I turn to for various answers and the last one a recent purchase that I am currently enjoying.
- The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron.
- The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.
- You are a Badass by Jen Sincero
Taking the time to read, reflect and ask why are sure ways to helping you find your path and move you more fully towards the life you desire.
Why remain bound to old stories when you can Start Transforming Obstacles Into Opportunities For Personal and Professional Success, Today.
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